Word Nerds Unite: 19 of William Safire’s Best Fumblerules of Grammar

Alte Underwood Schreibmaschine
Image Credit: “Alte Underwood Schreibmaschine” by Peter Mayr

When I was a college student back at Auburn University in the 1980s, my father mailed me a typewritten list he had prepared on his Underwood typewriter. This was a list of some “rules” of grammar that he thought were humorous. I agreed. (We were both word nerds.)

Though I don’t have the specific original sources for each of these, I believe that they all came from William Safire. Some of them are from his “On Language” column in the New York Times, while others are from his book Fumblerules: A Lighthearted Guide to Grammar and Good Usage. Enjoy!

  1. Help stamp out and eliminate redundancies.
  2. Don’t use no double negatives.
  3. Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.
  4. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
  5. Surly grammarians insist that all words ending in “ly” are adverbs.
  6. Avoid colloquial stuff.
  7. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
  8. Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.
  9. Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
  10. Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate; and never where it isn’t.
  11. Avoid commas, that are not necessary.
  12. If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
  13. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixed metaphors.
  14. Reserve the apostrophe for it’s proper use and omit it when its not needed.
  15. Don’t string too many prepositional phrases together unless you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.
  16. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns on their writing.
  17. A preposition is something you should never end a sentence with.
  18. Who needs rhetorical questions?
  19. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; use viable alternatives.

Feature Story Packages from #COMM2423 on Noah’s Ark of Central Florida

Students in my Writing for Digital Media class wrote stories about Noah’s Ark, an organization in Lakeland that helps developmentally disabled adults and their families. Below, you will find excepts from their stories. To read the whole story, click on the story title.

Featured Stories

A Light of Hope For Parents of Individuals with Developmental Disabilities by Nick Tedeschi

Almost every parent looks ahead with mixed feelings to the point in their child’s life when they will finish school and move on to become independent young adults. However, this is not always the case, especially for those who are parents of children with developmental disabilities. These parents have to face the reality that 93% of children with disabilities will be unemployed upon leaving the public school system and most will remain unemployed for their entire life.

Jack Kosik, founder and director of Noah’s Ark, informed me of how parents with children with developmental disabilities have a neglectful mindset when it comes to their child’s future. “Many families just try to get through a day, or a week and pray that the future will take care of itself. They do not understand how challenging it becomes when an individual with a developmental disability exits the school system to a life of video games and soap operas.”

Healthy Eating Starts with a Garden by Mikelle Liette

Food shortage has been a growing concern for many Lakeland families as the economic downturn has left families scraping from the bottom of the barrel just to come up with the funds to purchase enough groceries to feed their family. According to the 2010 US Census, 14.9 % of Lakeland families fall below the poverty line.

Jack Kosik, executive director of Noah’s Ark of Central Florida, has recognized a greater concern for developmentally disabled adults. As many supportive services are being cut, community members with disabilities have been left without enough money to live independently, or to purchase healthy and nutritious foods. Noah’s Ark is a home that daily supports the developmentally disabled and assists them by educating them on important issues of guardianship, special needs trusts, and available services. In addition to the weekly array of social and recreational activities that Noah’s Ark hosts, Kosik has plans to begin a community garden….

Hope and Healing by Melanie Shoults

The green ball, flawless except for three small holes, rumbled down the lane in a swirl of color and plowed into twelve perfectly placed white pins. A cheer erupted from spectators and smatterings of high-fives were exchanged. Smiles spread from face to face, regardless of who was winning.

The cheerful group of adults appeared to be having the time of their lives with just a round of bowling. But this wasn’t just a game. As a fund-raiser for Noah’s Ark, an organization that aids in rehabilitating adults with developmental disabilities, the event was much more meaningful than that….

 

Additional Stories from COMM 2423 Class (in alpha order)

Jack Kosik’s Ark by Dean Adams

What happens when individuals with “intellectual disabilities” lose their main center of support? Their parents, what happens when their parents leave this world and leave their sons and daughters behind with no one to care for them? If only there was a facility “designed to be sensitive to the unique needs of individuals who are intellectually challenged” and for a long time there was no such place.  Before 1997 there was no such place in Florida and as well as there being no place there were some troubling facts around this time concerning those with developmental disabilities in Florida….

Noah’s Ark: Making a Difference . . . Differently by Daniel Barcelo

Noah’s Ark. An organization “committed to empowering individuals who have developmental disabilities by advocating on their behalf and by providing or facilitating choices of meaningful employment, recreational and social opportunities and affordable housing in an inclusive community of their choice.” This mission, and a personal dream of its founder, Jack Kosik are at the core of this organization….

Love of a Mother by Laurita Carranza

A young adult, full of energy, with so much shine to give, but yet no one notices him. This is exactly what occurs with individuals who have developmental disabilities. These individuals are all around us. They might be the one that shops at the same store you do, at the restaurant you go, and might even sits right next to you in your favorite class. You won’t notice because all you care is who you are seen with. Do me a big favor and say hi to these individuals when you see them, don’t ignore them like if they don’t exist….

Will You Help Build the Ark? by Liz Colburn

What is Noah’s Ark?  Yes, it is a big boat built by Noah back in Bible times to avoid a world wide flood – but – that is not the Noah’s Ark I am talking about.  Noah’s Ark is a living facility based in Lakeland, Florida that houses special needs adults.  The purpose for Noah’s Ark is so that parents who can either no longer physically take care of their adult children or can not take care of them for other reasons, live in peace by knowing their children are being cared for….

The Past, Present and Future of Noah’s Ark by Annalee Cole

Imagine being the parent of a mentally disabled child. Now imagine growing old and knowing that one day you must part ways with them. Where does the future of your child lie when all they know is you? …

Noah’s Arc by Tara Duffy

There is a blind spot in the Americans eyes. While most people in this world can walk around not seeing the problems, some people Like Jack Kosik see the blind spot and actively try to fix it…

The Ark Has Arrived by Johny Fernandez

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be young and not be able to move out of your parent’s house? Many young adults with developmental disabilities also desire to grow independently but cannot. Living with a developmental disability not only limits living life normally but also, for many, may create an internal isolation from the world. For parents dealing with this situation, many of them cannot live comfortably knowing that their child may never grow independently….

Noah’s Ark: Changing the Lives of Lakeland Families One by One by Taylor Flumerfelt

In 1996, five families began the search for a facility whose mission is to take care of developmentally challenged people after which they could create their own organization. These five families did not want to only give back to the community; they were worried about the future of their developmentally challenged children. What would happen to their children after they passed away? The answer to this question was unclear and they sought to answer it through researching the many services available all over the country…

Noah’s Ark Encourages Residents to Live, Laugh, Love–and Get Active by Amanda Furmage

Just over four years ago, Jeff Albro began his journey for freedom and independence. His developmental disability would no longer prevent him from fulfilling his dreams. Yet his new life soon came to an abrupt, unexpected halt. After a few months of living autonomously in a Plant City public housing project, Albro was beaten and robbed—an experience that left his body bloody, broken and bruised. However, the severe emotional distress that resulted from the incident affected Albro more than the temporary physical damage.

Bringing Unity to the Community by Sarah Hassani

Elvis entered the doors of the Lakeland Harbor Community Clubhouse on September 5, 2011 to perform some of his top hits and the crowd went wild! The music was loud, the dancing was groovy, and the food was finger lickin’ good. 84 people witnessed this night unfold but were you one of them?

This 50’s sock hop event is one of the many events hosted by Noah’s Ark, a non-profit organization dedicated to empowering those with developmental disabilities. Among many things, they provide a housing residence and assist the disabled in finding employment and every month they provide opportunities for the community to get involved by participating in their events….

Jack Kosik Seeks to Build Noah’s Ark by Tiana Holding

Most people know the story of Noah from the Bible, even if they’ve never read it. Movies likeEvan Almighty give it a modern-day twist. In the Bible, Noah is commanded by God to build an ark. He was to build an ark as a place of safe refuge for him, his family, and 2 of every kind of animal on the Earth. Noah’s Ark was a way to start over.

Today, Noah’s Ark is a place of safe refuge for people with developmental disabilities. It is a place to start over, a community for people with disabilities to live together, yet on their own.

Parent of Disabled Individual Finds Hope Through Local Organization by Rachel LaFlam

It is the first time in his life that 81-year-old Lee McClure is able to enjoy empty-nest syndrome. Lee sits on his back porch in Lakeland, Fla. and can now enjoy his old age, knowing that everything is taken care of—everything meaning his 51-year-old mentally challenged son, Neal.

In the Arms of Love by Naida Lindberg

It all began with a story. The story of Noah’s Ark is not that of a flood, nor of animals but rather a daughter. This story would change the lives in more ways then one. What about Jack and the parents of those who spend nights wondering what will happen to their children after they have gone? There is hope in this story. This is their story. In 1997, Joanne and Hank Warnock enrolled their son into Noah’s Ark. Having never seen a program like Noah’s Ark it seemed like an answer of prayer. This however, is not just the story of Noah’s Ark but it is about a loving family….

Noah’s Ark by Chelsey Lynn

Noah’s Art is a unique place.  Its a place where one can find some peace, some belonging.  Noah’s ark is an organization that is committed to empowering individuals who have developmental disabilities by advocating on their behalf and by providing or facilitating choices of meaningful employment, recreational and social opportunities and affordable housing in an inclusive community of their choice.

Lee McClure is a parent who took an extraordinary step for independence for his son, Neal.  He reached out to Noah’s Ark in hopes for his son to live there, with more freedom and independence, knowing that he would be taken care of if anything were to happen to him….

An Unfinished Home by Emily Meade

“Home. It’s more than a place to rest your head. It is at home where we are free to be our truest self. It’s a soft place to fall when the world gets too hard. It’s where we build memories and live out the small details that make up a life. It’s where we store our treasures, read a book, take a nap and talk with friends. Our home, wherever that may be, is an extension of our inner self. The picture is often quite different for people with disabilities. For those with disabilities home can mean no choice, crowded and unpleasant conditions, unfair treatment, no privacy and no personal connection to the place where they are forced to live.”

Fortunately, because of one man’s determination and passion, individuals who are intellectually disabled do not face that challenge. Fourteen years ago marks the beginning of the journey Jack Kosik embarked on into the unknown. Upon adopting a baby girl who was later found with developmental disabilities, Jack sought to find a place where his daughter, Brittany, could reside once he could no longer support her needs sufficiently. Just as every other parent in that similar situation, they find few comfortable options that are available and if so, the wait lists are high in numbers….

Why Noah’s Ark by Elizabeth Telg

When you think of Noah’s Ark what comes to mind? A big boat? Lots of animals? A big rainbow? Well there’s a new Noah’s Ark that doesn’t involve wiping out all of mankind. Noah’s Ark of Central Florida is a unique living facility that houses special needs adults. But why would one get involved? …

The ABCs of Writing for Digital Media from #COMM2423 Class

My Southeastern University class created this list of 26 things people should know about writing for digital media. Some focused on writing for digital media in general, while others focused on succeeding in her class of the same name. (Note: A couple of the letters are missing, as Twitter is being a wee bit wonky this morning. I will do my best to add in D and M as soon as I can.)

What other tips would YOU add to this list?

25 Tips on How to Study for Final Exams

Image Credit: “a close reading of the text” by Kevin Rawlings

Final exams are approaching on college campuses around the world. Finals can be stressful, even for the most prepared students. Here are some tips to help you succeed:

Preparing for the Final

  1. Find out what your entire final_exam_fall_2011_12_schedule is so that you’ll know how many finals you will have on each day.
  2. Prepare a written schedule for yourself indicating when you will study for each test. Leave some time in your schedule for exercise and relaxation, too.
  3. If the professor offers a study guide, use it.
  4. If the professor offers a review session for the exam, go to it.
  5. If you study well in groups, form a study group.
  6. Know if the final is comprehensive (covering everything since the beginning of the semester or quarter).
  7. Find out what kind of exam it will be. You’d study differently for a multiple-choice (Scantron) final than an essay (blue book) one.
  8. If the final will be taken online, find out if you have to go to a specific computer lab on campus at a specific time, or if you’ll be allowed to take the final on your own computer. Also find out how many chances you will have to take the final. Assume it’s just one chance unless you hear differently from the professor.
  9. If you have your previous exams available, scour the exams for things that you think will be on the final. Flag your notes by highlighting or using Post-It notes.
  10. Don’t pull an all-nighter. (Though some people are successful with studying all night and then taking a test with no sleep, I wouldn’t recommend you try it for the first time on a final exam.)
  11. Calculate your grades in the class. Determine what score you will need to get the grade you’re hoping for in the class. You may discover that you can’t possibly get an A, no matter how well you do on the final, but to get a B, you only need to get a few questions right.
  12. If you’re an auditory learner, record yourself reading your notes aloud, then play the recording back several times.
  13. If the exam is an open-book exam, this does not mean that you don’t have to study at all. In fact, one of the most challenging exams I ever took as an undergrad was an open-book essay exam. Flag your textbook based on where you believe the questions will come from.
  14. Consider creating a detailed Final Exam Battle Plan.

On the Day of the Final

  1. Eat a meal and drink water.
  2. Don’t overdo it with the caffeine.
  3. Know what to bring with you to the final. Do you need a blue book? A Scantron? (And if you need a Scantron, which specific type do you need?) A pencil? A pen?
  4. Are food and drinks allowed in the classroom where your final will be? Sometimes, the rules are different for exam days than other days.
  5. Even if you don’t usually wear a watch, take one with you to the final. It’s unlikely you will be able to look at your cell phone to check the time during the final.

During the Final

  1. For a paper-based exam, read through the entire final exam before you start answering any questions at all. This way, you will know what you’re facing.
  2. If the final is an online exam, find out if you can revisit questions, or if after you click past a question you cannot go back to it again.
  3. If you’re using a Scantron and you skip a question to finish later, make sure you’re answering your questions next to the correct answers. (When I took my GRE to get into grad school, I skipped a question on the first page of the booklet, but never skipped a number on the Scantron. When I realized it, I only had 10 minutes to go back and put the answers with the correct questions. Talk about stress!)
  4. Keep a close eye on the time you have allotted.
  5. Some students benefit from answering the most difficult questions first, while others do better completing all the easier ones. Do what works for you.

After the Final

  1. Do not share with other students what was on the final exam. In most universities, this is a violation of the honor code at most universities.

Now it’s your turn: What final exam tips do you have to share? Please let us know through your comments below.

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[NOTE: Adapted from my blog for my First-Year Experience class, Making Connections: Facebook and Beyond, at Georgia Southern University]

Feature Story Package #1 Planning

For COMM 2423: A Reminder of the Assignment Requirements (found in your syllabus)

Report, source, write, edit and post one news story on an approved topic. The article must have or rely upon at least three human sources. The more timely, the better, and the story should hit demonstrate impact or consequence. Beware, however, of conflicts of interest. This means avoiding friends, family members and business associates as sources, and stories that could materially affect those companies and entities with which you are affiliated.

Post with the story the questions you asked your sources, a list of the facts you checked and verified, and a list of the sources you attempted to contact (not merely those you were able to include in your story). Also identify your intended audience(s).

As you are completing this assignment, think about what might be added to your main story for publication online, including multimedia and interactive features. Because online you would have all the space you would need, consider the range of added features that could be developed, including fact boxes, a FAQ list, a podcast or video extra, interview notes and transcripts, maps, charts, a glossary, slideshow, animated graphic, poll, related stories and opinion, and perhaps an area where readers can contribute reactions, story ideas, photos and comments. For Feature Story #2 you will add at least one photo and two other multimedia/interactive elements that might make a strong story package online. (For Feature Story #1, one photo is the only multimedia element required.)

A College Student’s Guide to Getting Started with Twitter

Image Credit: "Montreal Twestival 2009 Cupcakes" by Clever

This week, spend some time learning on your own about using Twitter. Here are a few ways to learn. We’ll talk more about Twitter next week in class. Be sure to follow the directions in Step 4 so you “take attendance” for class this week; you can send the required tweet/message anytime before midnight on Saturday.

Step 1: Watch

If you haven’t seen it already, watch Twitter in Plain English, made by the folks at Common Craft:

Step 2: Watch

Then watch the Inbound Marketing University webinar titled “Twitter for Business,” led by Laura Fitton (@pistachio on Twitter) OR “Twitter for Business” led by Paul Gillin (@pgillin on Twitter). You don’t have to watch both, unless you’d really like to see two different perspectives on using Twitter.


Twitter for Business from Paul Gillin on Vimeo.

Step 3: Read

Read my post 10.5 Ways for PR Students to Get the Most Out of Twitter.

Step 4: Subscribe

Set Up Your Twitter Account

  1. Go to Twitter. Click Get Started, and sign up. I prefer it if you use some version of your first and last name as your Twitter ID. (Avoid putting numbers in your Twitter ID, or you may appear like a spammer.)
  2. Upload a photo or avatar.
  3. Write a brief (160-character or fewer) bio. It’s good to mention that you’re a PR student. Consider mentioning your university.
  4. Send a tweet saying “I’m a student in @barbaranixon’s #COMM2322 /#COMM2423”. (Use the correct number for your class.) Be sure to include the #xxx1234 indicator, with no spaces between the hashtag (#), letters and numbers. It is by you sending this tweet that I will “take attendance” on Monday/Tuesday.

Step 5: Follow

Follow the people I recommend in my Starter Pack for PR Students list:  — at least for the duration of this semester. I will also create lists for students in each of my classes (but I cannot do this until I have all your Twitter IDs.)

Additional Information

  1. If you already have a Twitter account that you use primarily for social (not educational or professional) reasons, you may wish to create a fresh, new account for this class and professional reasons.
  2. Review your notes on Twitter: What’s In It For Me (a presentation I shared in class with you in September).
  3. Review my tips on Choosing Whom to Follow on Twitter: My Strategy.
  4. Review Prof. Sam Bradley’s College Student’s Guide: Twitter 101.
  5. Review The Anatomy of a Tweet: What Do All Those Symbols Mean?
  6. I find using the web interface for Twitter to be clunky. I prefer using TweetDeck, a free Adobe Air app that works great on PCs and Macs. TweetDeck makes it really easy to send URLs via Twitter, as it automatically shortens them for you.
  7. I’ll occasionally post information on Twitter and use the hashtag for your class (#COMM2322 or #COMM2423).By using this hashtag, I’m indicating that I want students in this class to pay special attention to the tweet.
  8. If you’d like to publicize your blog posts via Twitter, you can it automatically in WordPress.

If you’re a college student, especially a college student majoring in public relations, I’d love to hear how you have benefitted by using Twitter.

Website Critique :: COMM 2423 Assignment

Image Credit: "Statler & Waldorf" by The Muppets

In pairs or triads, consider the website provided in class during Week 6. (Note: You can work on this assignment individually, if you wish.)

Imagine that you have been hired as the site’s new editor-in-chief. Make specific recommendations to improve the presentation of content at the site, integrating and referencing the chapter as much as possible. What elements or features promote use of the site? Again, think of all the elements described in this chapter. How are graphics and visuals incorporated, and do they encourage or discourage use? How do they do this? How much thought was given to navigation throughout the site? Are the elements — graphical, navigational and metaphorical — consistently applied throughout the site? Is the tone or rhythm of the site consistent throughout? Do these dimensions match the audience(s) for the site?

Here is a categorical checklist of site dimensions to critique:

  • Navigation
  • Page layouts (balance | contrast | unity)
  • Consistency
  • Tone and voice
  • Writing quality
  • Site organization

Prepare your written critique and submit it in BlackBoard before the deadline of Oct. 1 at 11:59 p.m.

NOTE: This assignment is one provided by the publisher of the Writing for Digital Media textbook we are using in COMM 2423.

Dedicated to First-Year Student Me: Thriving in Your First Year at SEU

Image Credit: "Road to Nowhere" by James Walker
An Assignment for My COMM 2423 Writing for Digital Media Class

This fall, we’ve welcomed about 600 students who are brand new to Southeastern University, either as first-year or transfer students. Many of them are still finding their way on campus, in literal and metaphorical ways.

Think back to your first semester or so on our campus here at SEU. What do you wish you had known as you began your first year? What advice would you offer students new to SEU? Share three of your best tips as a reply to this blog post. If possible, include one tip in each of these areas: academic, social and spiritual.

Then, after reading the tips from your classmates, create a top ten list of advice for students new to SEU as a post on your own blog. (You can title the post as you wish.) You can use your own tips as well as those of your classmates. Remember that if you use your classmates’ tips to give them credit for the ideas, and link back to their blogs. Also, choose an appropriate Creative Commons licensed image to accompany your post.

NOTE: Your reply can count as one of your Blog Comments if you document it, and the post you write can count as one of your Writer’s Choice posts.